June 22, 2016

Whose team am I on, anyway?

This post is part of a 30 in 30 blog experiment, where I committed to writing 30 posts in 30 days with minimal planning between June 20, 2016 and July 20, 2016.

You know when you have a dog on its leash and you try to pull it in one direction and its immediate reaction is to put on the brakes and stop moving? That’s me anytime someone tries to impose any sort of schedule or limitations or plan on me.

As a child, this happened whenever my father told me to do something (okay, sometimes it still happens. Love you, Dad!). Even if there was a part of me that knew he was right, I would get an overwhelming feeling to do exactly the opposite.

I’ve looked at this rebelliousness as an integral part of my creative side. Something that refused to be tamed--and shouldn’t--lest I strangle the tiny creative ember I wish to fan into a bright flame that lights my way into a glorious future where I…and, there I go again. Lame and ridiculous justifications aside, it feels like I’m part Borg. Resistance to my resistance is futile, so just give into the resistance. (Except the Borg would probably be into having a schedule because they are Borg and, like, would need to do systems maintenance or something but whatever).

The point is, I gave into my resistance a long time ago. So when I decided on the spur of the moment to blog for 30 days straight with no plan – the wild chaos loving side of me jumped up and down at the challenge, and the pain in the ass adolescent in my brain freaked the hell out. As a result, I got up this morning looking for a way to get out of this. I drove to work thinking about how to get out of writing a blog post today and panicking about what I will write and if it will be stupid and dreaming up previously unimaginable horrors that will befall me whether I post a new blog or don’t and feeling stuck and grumpy.

At work I normally listen to podcasts, but lately I’ve been listening to video interviews from a series called “30 Days of Genius.” Today’s interview is with Lewis Howes. I had no idea who he was, but the video description called him a lifestyle entrepreneur (seriously, that’s a thing?) and he wrote a book (of course he did). Sarcasm aside, less than halfway through the interview it’s like God reached down and smacked me on the back of the head.

Lewis believes in the power of community (even a community of one other person) to help us accomplish our dreams. And then he compared life to how when we are on a sports team, we commit to a practice schedule, show up on time, work hard on stuff that sometimes sucks and (hopefully) support one another. Simple right? So why do I allow myself to resist scheduling time to do the things I need to do in order to accomplish my life goals? Whose team am I on?

It’s certainly not mine.

I don’t know why Lewis saying this exact thing at this exact time really hit home. It’s not like the same idea hasn’t been presented to me in other ways before, but this time I got it. It clicked. There can be freedom in discipline.

Maybe I was ready to hear it this time. Today, for a little while, I let go of my resistance. You can too. Take one small step towards making that one change you've been avoiding and then promise you’ll do it again. Decide when and how and most importantly, why.  Then do it. Keep the promises you make to yourself even when it's hard. Be on your team.

I’ll be here again tomorrow, keeping my promise and showing up in the community I have chosen for this task. If you want to learn more about the 30 Days of Genius series, I’ve put the info on my Inspiration page.

Before you go, tell me about what you’ve been resisting and how you got over it or tell me about your favorite Star Trek villian. I've always been partial to an oldie but a goodie, Q.

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